I went to the doctor earlier this week for a problem I’ve been having with my legs.
The official diagnosis — acid reflux. Oh, and the ear, nose and throat specialist/dentist who examined also discovered that I¿have a cross bite.
A good friend of mine told me there is only one other person in the world who could go to the doctor for her legs and find out she has acid reflux. If you guessed my mother, congratulations!
Anyway, the whole thing started because my legs were making it difficult to sleep at night. After several weeks of tossing and turning, and expressing concern (read: whining), Brandon convinced me to talk to a doctor about it. So I did. And ended up with an appointment with an ENT to assess my legs.
Actually, it’s not as crazy as it sounds upon first reading. The doctor thought that, since the problem mainly occurs at night, it could be a sleep disorder. The particular ENT that I¿went to see specializes in sleep disorders.
My doctor is great, and I¿totally trust her judgment. That actually made sense to me, even if it did sound funny to say I was going to an ENT for my legs. Besides, I am not a doctor, and as much as I like to diagnose myself, I am smart enough to know when to leave things to the professionals.
Unfortunately, the ENT’s main area of expertise apparently is sleep apnea. I do not have sleep apnea, nor have I¿ever been suspected of having sleep apnea. Legs, remember?
Try explaining that to nurses who are not comprehending that, no, I do not snore. No, my snoring does not disrupt my sleep. Because I¿don’t snore. See how that works?
Are the doctors reading this wishing I was their patient right about now? I’m really not a bad patient, I promise. I always follow doctor’s orders, and in recent months, have even trained myself to stay off WebMD.
However, I did get a little testy when the nurse told me they were going to use a scope to look down my throat.
“But I don’t have a throat problem,”¿I said.
Doesn’t matter — all ENT¿patients get the scope. She proceeded to numb my nose and throat and I waited for the doctor.
He was a very nice and very competent doctor. Were I to ever have a problem with my ears, nose or throat, I¿would definitely call him up. I’m not sure we made much progress in the leg situation, but I am happy to report that my vocal cords are outstanding. And I¿survived an unexpected medical test, although I did send a few panicky text messages to my husband while I¿was waiting on the doctor. I mean, just because I¿wasn’t aware of any throat problems didn’t mean they couldn’t find something just hanging out, waiting to send my anxiety level through the roof.
That did not happen. The only thing out of the ordinary was the presence of some minor acid reflux, one of about two medical conditions I¿could have and not worry about.
The doctor told me he saw nothing to suggest I have sleep apnea. I tried to explain that no one ever thought I did. My legs. I have two of them, and they cause me discomfort at night when I try to sleep. Not snoring, not breathing difficulties, not even my newly diagnosed acid reflux.
We actually did talk about my legs for a few minutes, and although the situation is not totally resolved, I feel better about things.
And how else would I¿have known about my cross bite? While examining my throat and mouth, the doctor asked me to bite down.
“Interesting. Has anyone ever told you before that you have a cross bite?”
Not that I¿could recall. But I¿could have been too overwhelmed by my cavity last time I was at the dentist to pay attention to lesser diagnoses, like a cross bite.
To be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure what that means, and it seemed too minor to bother Googling.
Naturally, my mom made me promise I would find something to take for the acid reflux RIGHT¿NOW.
Brandon has found great humor in the whole situation. He suggested that next time I go to the doctor for my legs, I should see if I can get my teeth cleaned at the same time.
His sympathetic nature is one of the many reasons I married him.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to the mirror and try to decide if my teeth are looking a bit funny these days.